Intro: The Broccoli Problem

My watch buzzes.

“It’s time to stand” it says. Sitting is the new smoking and my watch wants to make sure I’m changing postures.

A few minutes later it’s nudging me again. I can still make it. Just a few thousand more steps to reach my step count goal. Then later again, it’s about taking a moment to be mindful.

Between all the nudges to drink water, take more fiber, eat less processed foods, the notification to meditate seems more like a reminder of the endless list of ‘good-for-me’ actions I am not taking.

Meditation has become like eating broccoli - something you know you should do. Not something you want to do.

Like broccoli, the benefits accrue to a future-you. Someone who one day will be calmer, focused, and not lose their shit over a stain on their white shirt.

Just 10 minutes a day promise Youtube creators and bloggers and you’ll see benefits.

Reluctantly you try.

You download the app, sit for a few sessions, and wonder what you’re missing. Your mind races. You feel restless. The promised calm feels as distant as ever.

Yet some people, though, seem to find meditation genuinely transformative. They talk about it with the enthusiasm of someone who’s discovered something remarkable. What’s the difference? What are they experiencing that you’re not?

And maybe you have experienced a momentary pause in your head’s chatter. An oasis opens up in the relentless gushing thoughts but it’s hard to find again.

After 25 years of practice, reading countless books on meditation, and teaching meditation classes, I believe the answer comes down to this: most meditation instruction teaches you where to look, but not how to see.

But first, let’s talk about what this difference really is - this gap between looking and seeing.